Taking A Break From Facebook And Instagram

Culture

Connection is an important part of relationships, and having a sense of community can affect our well being. True connections are incredibly valuable. It’s been a few months since I stopped using Facebook and Instagram, and the relationships that are the closest are the ones where you are engaged and in contact regardless of your online presence. They are the ones you will message or call on the phone every day. I really value close and long-term friendships, and I found that often on social media we are viewing and sharing to people we don’t have a close connection with. The aspects of privacy, mental health, phone use and what value it has on my personal life were just some of the areas that made me remove several social media apps.

The people who care about you will make the effort to be in your life. The people that really matter will make the effort to call you and personally invite you to events or to catch up. It’s not the frequency of contact or quantity of friendships, but the time spent. A natural part of life is that people come and go in our lives. Those who are meant to be in our lives will be there.

Your productivity levels will increase. The ability to sustain focus for longer periods of time will become a habit. Social Media can be distracting and take away our attention. Phones have caused us to have shorter attention spans. I remember as a student how distracting social media can be, and how much time can go by if we spend our time on it.

Decrease in anxiety and online noise and distraction. My mental health greatly improved, and so much time will be in your hands for things that add value in your life, rather than scrolling mindlessly. There was something about Facebook and Instagram that really triggered my anxiety. Our phones can be a form of escapism. There is an overwhelming amount of information online.

Spending time doing the things you love. Time spent on your favourite activities, hobbies and time spent with the people you love. In the past few months, I love to spend the early morning going for a jog or reading a chapter of a book, whereas in the past one of the first things was to turn on my phone. Time offline means that I put more conscious time in achieving my goals.

Conformity, validation and acceptance. I think about how I really value the opinions and views of those close to me, regardless of if I agree or disagree with it. However, I find on social media there is a lot of external validation from strangers which can have an impact on ones authenticity. True validation and acceptance is through accepting yourself.

The time spent on my phone is minimised. More or less the phone is mostly used for texting, calling and replying emails. I check my phone far less, whereas when I previously had several social media apps, I’d check it more often because there would be notifications that most of the time weren’t important. Excessive screen time is unhealthy, and takes us away from the present.

The value of privacy, and realising that most people don’t truly care about you. We are essentially the products on social media platforms. It’s hard to define privacy in one definition nowadays. I am quite a private person, and would rather spend time sharing certain things with those close to me. Most people are friendly, but there really are only a handful of people in our personal lives who truly care about us.

Body image and unrealistic expectations. There is a layer of social media that can feel unrealistic. We only catch a glimpse, and even then we can’t really know someone without engaging in conversation and spending time with them. To an extent, social media can shape perceptions of body image.

Being present and focused in my own life. I’m not sure if I’ll be back on Facebook or Instagram, but it feels good to be fully focused on my own life. I do miss the days before social media where there was a sense of mystery in our lives. No one’s life is perfect, even though it can seem that way online. Spending less time on our phones can create space for us to be present in our daily lives.

Art by Lisa Perrin

Spending Less Time On Your Phone

Daily Thoughts

One of the best things I saw today was a guy whipping out his big bulky flip phone, and proceed to click away and text someone. I’m definitely someone that still feels it’s nice to not use the phone when I’m with friends or at a dinner table. Although, it has become a norm to have our phones present in many situations, occasions and at almost any time. Checking notifications, taking photos and messaging people. One of the ways I’ve found helpful in using my phone less during the day, is deleting apps on my phone, putting it on silence or leaving the phone at home for a few hours. Out of sight, out of mind. It makes you feel more present and feel more engaged in your day to day moments, without the interruption or distraction of a phone. I love going for bush walks and being in nature, and I find the best moments are the one’s where you’re truly present in the moment.

There is now more of an urgency and ability to receive information instantly, that we lose that sense of patience, waiting and receiving news a little later. The silent moments can be interrupted with digital devices. It’s a wonderful tool, yet everything requires balance and moderation. When I took away that aspect for most of the day, I realised that at the end of the day, I can check everything in one go. My messages, emails, notifications and so on. It took away this sense of needing to check my phone, even when I didn’t need it. It made me more observant, present and just embrace the art of doing nothing and just being. I realised how much my phone can sometimes give me slight anxiety and urgency, take away precious time and that the less I use it, the more I feel focused on tasks and the more I don’t allow it to fill up to much space in my day.

I do miss the days where phones weren’t such a huge part of our lives, that when we left home it would only often be the keys on us that we need to remember. There was a sense of interaction that is not as common now. I remember talking to strangers more and making friends through the same silence, and simply breaking it. However, now it’s easy for many people to avoid the silence by using their devices. Many of us attend to a notification straight away, a text is replied immediately and there is ongoing online noise. I think to simply minimise one’s use of their phone is to consciously decide to. You could remove apps that you don’t use often, or aren’t hugely important. You could leave the house one day without your phone, and note how you feel during the day. Presence is truly key.

When I am using my phone, I spend most of it reading news online, from politics to arts and culture. We consume and share information, but there is definitely an increasing saturation of information online. When you realise that you don’t need to capture this moment, message someone about something right this very moment and escape the silence, you enjoy the moment. I like to take those moments to just pause, go for a run, read a book, pat the cats or play the piano. Everything is more enjoyable in the long run when it’s in moderation. There is also less desire to share things, as I find the line between what is private and public is becoming increasingly blurred. I really value privacy and in person contact, and engaging in conversation in person. There are endless things to enjoy without the presence of our phones.

Art by Monica Barengo

Life Without A Phone

Daily Thoughts

poYQEKQm_WIHow do you survive without your phone for a week? Leave the house without putting your phone in your bag. It was a wonderful experiment to try, after I read Womankind Magazine’s post on the smartphone challenge. I realised when I didn’t use my phone for a week, how much I didn’t need it. Most of the time when I used it, it was to search something, scroll on social media or look up things that weren’t necessary in that moment. When I didn’t have my phone, I felt focused in my studies and more attentive to the present.

How often do you use your smartphone, and for what activities? My phone is used to look at my notifications, and to read emails, messages, news, read articles and social media. I noticed that I use it when I don’t need to, and that it becomes a sense of distraction on what I may be focusing on. It becomes a form of escapism from the current task. How do you feel when your phone is left at home, or when you have to commute without its distracting presence? I felt more present with a curious observation of the world around me. It was freeing and makes you realise the reliance and attention we give to our phones, when we really don’t need to use it most of the time.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BgKwPOqhsM1/?taken-by=katiekuo96

It made me realise how much our phones can be a distraction, because not every email, message and notification needs to be attended to immediately, and there was a longer sense of satisfaction to just check my phone only once at the very end of the day on everything. It allowed me to use my phone for only 20 minutes at the end of the day, to reply or make sure I didn’t have any missed calls or messages. Most of the time, I didn’t have anything that was extremely urgent. I also felt that I would sleep earlier and wake up earlier, and that my productivity, creativity and focus levels were far higher.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BcmBZZph0n1/?taken-by=katiekuo96

What happens to your social life? I realise that many people tend to check their phones even when they’re in the company of another person. I noticed that even when I have my phone, I am more inclined to focus on the person. In terms of my social life, I feel like it made me more relaxed when meeting up with friends, because I didn’t have my phone on me and just had to meet them at the time and place. There is also something wonderful about just being, and not relying and needing to stand there using your phone when you’re waiting for someone.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BcoeoK_Br5S/?taken-by=katiekuo96

How do you feel emotionally? What do you do differently in a week without your smartphone? I felt like I didn’t have that feeling of urgency. There was a calming feeling of when I had an urge to take a photo of something beautiful I’d seen or to message someone, to know that I should just breathe in that moment and enjoy it then and there. Not everything needs to be captured by a camera, and most things should be enjoyed through the lens of our eyes. There is beauty and mystery in keeping a moment to yourself.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BdmeKUqBt2g/?taken-by=katiekuo96

There’s a question on privacy when it comes to technology, and I think it’s important to remind oneself how much you choose to share. I think our visual self online can be perceived a certain way, but the best way to truly know someone will always be in person.

Art by Otto Kim

When People Use Their Phone On A Date With You

Personal

20hoax-jumbo.jpgI remember sitting in Starbucks with a friend, and as we sat there for an hour, the couple beside us spent the period of time taking selfies, texting on their phone and not talking to one another. It sort of translates the message that technology, indeed, can make us more unsocial, rather than social. I remember having one or two friends who would often be on their phones when we hanged out. Although, this rarely happens to me anymore when I am on a lunch date with a friend, I noticed it a lot more in the last few years. There is a conceived need to send a text immediately or reply an email straight away. I do feel most of the time when we’re with someone, the notification can wait an hour, but I feel there is an idea that we need to instantly reply people.

The beauty of conversations is that both people are engaged in each others presence. It’s being comfortable in the silence. When I’m with a friend, the conversation flows and has a few natural pauses here and there, but when a phone comes into the picture it feels like a sudden interruption and it feels that the person isn’t respecting you, as their attention is towards their phone. It gives the impression that they don’t care for your time or they have more important matters to attend to. You may say something, and they may answer with “Sorry, can you please repeat that”.

The things that make me sad is when I go to restaurants, sit on the bus or ride the train and see babies already using and playing on phones. The world is changing faster than we can keep up with. Appreciate your own company, rather than always relying on using a phone. After moving overseas, it’s those physical interactions with friends and family that I miss the most. Being able to hug someone, laugh with them and share wonderful conversations and memories. Memories that can’t be captured on a phone.

Have you ever had an experience like this? How did it make you feel?

art by @sainthoax