It was the end of another chapter yesterday, and I couldn’t stop smiling after finishing the last exam of the year. I sat down with my friend to devour some delicious Japanese food, and we talked about something that I can deeply relate to, and I feel many people are able to relate to it as well. There is something about writing and speaking that are different in many ways, because for some, speaking comes more naturally and for others, it can be difficult to put exactly into words how they’re feeling inside. I find that it’s easier to write down my thoughts, because they seem to flow effortlessly, whereas when I speak out loud I feel my mind pauses or can’t quite express what I’m feeling inside.
There are moments like talking on the phone or having a conversation with someone, where it requires instant feedback. It’s also the interpretation that people have of the words you speak, and that sometimes there can be misunderstandings or you feel you haven’t expressed something the way you wanted to. When it comes to writing, I feel that I can speak with my heart more and more, because I feel the words from my mind just come out. When I speak, I tend to think before I speak, and sometimes perhaps a little too carefully. A few written words can often say so much more than a conversation about something you might not feel a connection to.
Writing is honest, raw and allows time for reflection. I have found that my experience of the way I speak has been told many times by others this year. I was told several times “I noticed you have quite a soft voice,” “you need to speak up,” and “you seem quite shy”. I remember being at a wedding this year, and an Auntie was telling me how the bride is outgoing and that “You need to be like that.” It hurt me at the time, because I thought to myself, I’m just me. “There’s a sense of judgment, that I’ve gradually just have to tell myself to not give a fudge, because this is who I am. I feel more confident than I’ve ever been, by being quietly confident and embracing the fact that I’m a soft spoken person.
It has taught me to be more assured and speak up in what I say, but sometimes the comments people say can touch too much on your personality. I often think that soft spoken people can be quickly assumed as shy. In a strange way, I feel like writing expresses more of my personality and opens a glimpse into who I am, because when I speak I don’t always show completely who I am to everyone. Perhaps this is common among some introverts, where we seem to have an active and adventurous mind yet on the outside it can seem that we are more quiet. It shows that things are not always what they seem on the outside.
Do you find it easier to express your thoughts through writing or is it easier for you to speak them?