The Problem With Being A Friendly Person

308a185173e01a7ae5faa6454a44991a.jpgBeing kind and friendly is important, because it spreads positivity, and I’m sure we’d all prefer to engage with people who are kindhearted, caring, positive and understanding. Being friendly is never wrong, but there are certain times where I realise that it can be misinterpreted. I think often friendliness can be mistaken for flirting, especially for people who simply love to smile and are friendly in general. It’s simply the attitude of showing interest and being a good listener and treating others how you’d want to be treated. I’ve learned to keep distance, ignore or cut contact from people if they don’t respect my boundaries. Choose to surround yourself with positive people in your life.

Strangely enough, I have had guys that were interested in me this year, but I don’t feel any attraction or connection at all. I’m someone who really values a raw connection, a natural spark, a similar humour with a person, a playfulness that you can’t force, and a certain harmony in knowing that this is someone you want to spend time with to get to know. The guys that have approached me seem to make me feel uncomfortable, and this is when it’s important to ignore, block and keep distance when you feel you’re being slightly harassed through messages or adding on social media. The problem with being friendly sometimes, is that the other person might think you are interested in them.

Respecting boundaries is extremely important no matter who we are talking to, but a recent experience made me realise that some people don’t understand boundaries and the word ‘no’. I made it very clear to someone that I was busy and was not interested on going to a date with them, but they were extremely persistent that it became annoying, and I started to feel spammed. I strive to see the good in people, but when it crosses my boundary it becomes quite inconsiderate. I think attraction definitely builds from having a good energy from a person, and having the values of respect, trust, communication and honesty.

If someone smiles as they talk to you, it doesn’t mean they’re attracted to you in that way. Perhaps they are, or perhaps they are just interested in what you’re saying. I think another thing with being a friendly person, is that when I’m not smiling, I occasionally get asked if I’m okay. There’s quite a contrast in my expression when I’m smiling and when I’m resting my face that it might see like I’m sad, when I ‘m not. Another aspect of being friendly, is the characteristic of being a nice person. I remember writing an article on why being nice is not always so nice, as there are many misunderstandings that can occur. Sometimes we shouldn’t be too nice, but we can always be kind.

It’s important to note that being a friendly person shouldn’t mean that you should always be agreeable, because I think it ties in with honesty. A person who has good intentions is honest, communicative, trustworthy and genuine. I’m at the stage where if I need to say no to something, I will just say it. If I’m not interested, my body language tends to show it. Being friendly doesn’t mean you should say yes. We can be friendly to others, but we don’t have to be nice if we feel something’s wrong. There is a difference between being friendly and having friends. We can be friendly to everyone, but there are often only a few people that we truly become close friends with.

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7 thoughts on “The Problem With Being A Friendly Person

  1. It’s funny how our intentions can often be misunderstood in translation. Very strangely enough too, there’s been one instance this year in which a guy misunderstood my friendliness for romantic interest, in which case I pretty much turned from friendly to cold to avoid any more ‘misunderstandings’. Every time something like this happens, I often end up more confused about how I’m supposed to act, but I have also jumped to similar conclusions when I’m on the other side (except that I don’t tend to act on them), so it really depends on our interpretations.

  2. That’s true, we can have different interpretations of different situations. I find that’s quite common that being friendly can be misinterpreted at times depending on who we’re talking to.

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