Comparison is the thief of joy.
Those who are close to me, were surprised the first time I told them personal parts of my life. They would say “I didn’t know you were going through so much, Katie”. It made me realise that everyone is going through a journey filled with different chapters – good and bad. I say this, because when I was younger, I honestly felt that everyone else’s life was more normal than mine and everyone had a perfect family life. This comes down to the way we are told to present ourselves in society (myself included). Of course others may of thought I was just fine the same way I felt others life were just fine. I would smile, laugh and wanted to present my sweeter side, and hide my deeper and uncovered side (which goes for most people).
The last few months have been a bit of a roller coaster. I finally felt the courage to make a doctors appointment this week and had a blood test to make sure I don’t have any medical conditions. Tomorrow I will have the mental health examination, which makes me feel better about taking action for this after so many years. What really got be thinking about writing this article, was how much we compare our lives with others to different degrees. Whether that be body image, career, lifestyle, opportunities, relationships, social media and so on. I used to compare myself with people who were much more outgoing which of course, only made me feel very down for being the way I am. Everyone is different.Which is something we really need to remind ourselves from time to time.
As terrible as it sounds, I used to judge people who grew up in households where their family are moderately well off, and they would receive money off their parents. I would also judge if they liked to buy the latest technology and more expensive clothes. I would judge if they complained about not having enough to wear or wishing they could buy something. I felt that I could never relate to whether they knew what it was like to work from a young age and support themselves independently. But how was it my place to do that? How would I know if they recently had to experience a loss, their parents may of divorced, they don’t have many friends and feel gratification from shopping or whatever it may be. The answer is, I wouldn’t know.
We can choose to show people what we perceive as our good side, but underneath the layers of ourselves are parts that others may never see. Nothing perfect is defined by the way things look. Not with materials, travel, clothing, makeup or career. Nobody is perfect. All the happiness in life comes down to the way we’re feeling inside.