Ah, where to begin. This blog post is motivation from the lovely beauty, lifestyle and fashion youtuber, Dani Mansutti blog post.I have struggled with this all my life, but it has been more of a struggle these past several months, and it has been one of those personal, internal struggles that is difficult to put clearly into words. One of the things that bothers me about our society, is the emphasis we place on being outgoing and extroverted and equate that with friendliness and confidence. I know some people who are the most soft spoken but have a very charismatic and confident manner.
Being loud does not equate confidence. If you are like me, whenever I interact with people I am not too close to, there is a constant struggle that I try not to come off as rude or overly polite. I have to admit, I am the least rude person I know, and it is difficult when I can be painfully shy, without knowing how to stop myself feeling that way with certain people. There is a cycle in my head of what to say, what questions to ask and the feeling of not being able to show my true self completely.
After having several interviews this year, I realised that many employers are looking for people who are extremely confident, energetic and outgoing. However, the sad thing is that many introverted people do not often have their ideas acknowledged. The truth is, many introverts are extremely intellectual and often have skills that are overlooked. Extroverts are often given a different treatment compared to introverts, and I really wish this would change.
Being quiet does not necessarily mean the person is upset, nor does it mean they are being rude. Being constantly asked “are you okay?” can often be the simple trigger of not feeling okay, because it should be okay to be introverted right? I am naturally more soft spoken, and sadly in this world, people who are more quiet are often told what to do, bossed around and treated terribly.
Believe me, I have been there – and from time to time, still face this issue. It is really heart breaking to see the amount of people who do this though. It happens everywhere. Whether I was in high school, studying, working or anywhere else. Remember that the words we speak to people can affect them in many ways. I find it extremely difficult to make friends no matter where I am. I really relate to what Dani wrote, especially when she said she wishes that:
Every single night I will still wish to find these special people. The people I can feel 100% myself around, the people that love me for who I am, and put me first. The people that do not walk all over me, the people that would be happy to just sit around and laugh about nothing.
I cannot wait to meet them.
Nobody wants to feel used, not truly loved or uncomfortable in a friendship. I have been blessed to meet some truly amazing people in Sydney throughout the year. However, I want to tell anyone who will ever talk to me to please understand that I am different. We are all on a different journey. We are all different.
All people – African, European, American – worry about being different. But I’ve learned that the traits we’d rush to get rid of are the very ones that others desire. People always covet what they don’t have. That’s why we should look at ourselves every now and then and say, ‘I’m proud of myself. I like the way I’m made.’